diary of ahde vefa
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(back to my past)
searching an apartman was a problem at the beginning but the real problem was how do we live in it? we were not married, we weren't engaged, i was only a university student, how would our neighbours behave against us? and should we buy second-hand home stuff or new?(
cause if you are thinking of marrying someone you have to buy new home stuff thus after you two married, you don't have to buy home stuff again. but we didnt talk about marriage at those days.
anyway he found a little apartman with two rooms,a little kitchen with no windows,a bathroom with no windows. initially it was a too dark house for us but after searching an apartman for so long we accepted this basement-ish house.
it was time to getting home items and even if we don't talk of marriage that was the time of thinking about it for both of us. (new home stuff or second-hand home stuff) and it was the time if i would continue my revenge plan or would i listen my feelings? which was the right decision for me? i fell in love with him soooooo deply but he wasnt with me when they kicked me out of the house. actually he messed with me when i told him that they went to izmir to tell my family it.
i was so indesicive.. love was on one side and leaving me alone with that bad (sad) situation on the otherhand. it was a hard and sharp decision, i couldnt turn my back on myself for a guy who left me alone in that bad situation. what was the right way for both me and my heart?
while thinking all that thoughts, i was going to my dormitory.