Bende burda günlük tutabilir miyim söz veriyorum çok yer kaplamam, kenarcıkta yazarım. Boşuna başlık harcamayalım.

(bkz: daha neler göreceğiz)
(bkz: kafamızda nası güzel)
sözlükteki tüm yazarların başlıkların hepsine yazma hakkı vardır. bu durum parkta bir kaydırağı kapatıp buradan kaymayın demekten farksızdır. teşekkür ederim.

evet hoparlörü aldım lütfen tekrar ediniz:
buulog sözlük bizimdiiir
biziiim kalacaaaak
buulog sözlük bizimdiiiir
biiizim kaalaacaaak'*' '*'

iyi tamam çok isterseniz yazın çok gülesim geldi yorumlarınıza'*'
Tamam, yazmayın lan siz de...

(bkz: başlık parsellemek )
arkadaşlar, ingilizce bilenler kontrol etsin. belki sövüyo ne belli yani. :)
Bak bak bir de anlamayalım diye ingilizce yazmis (dil çıkaran tatlı komik emoji)
inan bilmiyorum hayatım.hiç denemedim çeviri programlarından biriyle yazdıklarımı türkçeye çevirmeyi :)
böyle sataşmaya can kurban tatlış :)
Çeviri yaptığımda o kadar düzgün çevriliyor ki Türkçe'ye, mutlaka bir yerlerde bir hata vardır diye düşündürüyor. normalde abuk subuk çevirmesi gerekmiyor mu?
Olsun, diğer entrylere kıyasla okuması zevkli. (sataşma)
Üşenmemiş kuralları okumuş sonra dedektifliğe girişmiş derler adama.
Sözlükte O kadar çok entry var ki kurallara uymayan, bırakın mod'lar halletsin bu işi.
Tanımımızı da girelim : ingiliççe açılmış başlık
the meeting day came at last. we didnt see eachother for months and i was so excited.what would i wear, how would i catch up 17.00 o'clock ( his cafe was far away from my dormitory) and i didnt know istanbul .

woke up in the early morning and went to school fortunately that day's lessons finished at noon. i did make up and took a bus to his cafe. in istanbul's traffic my way took 2 hours but in normally it takes 30 minutes i guess.

and i saw him, how i missed my sweet guy. i don't remember what he weared but he was and is a handsome, very charming man. (my heart was beating like it would come out). we drank tea and began talking about our changes. while we were talking his phone began ringing. he didnt pick up his phone and muted the phone. while we were talking i could see his phone's light on and off regularly so i suspected why he didnt answer it.

some customers came and went meanwhile. and when he went to loo i took his phone. it was ringing still.his male friend was calling ( was it a man ? ofcourse it was a girl with a man's name ) wait for it and i began to look at his messages. yes there was a lot of messages form a girl. they talked about everything but me. i began to cry cause he is my first lover.dear me what a bad situation i was in. about 10 minutes later he came. i asked him who is blabla? he was shocked, his face turned red.

left him there and went my dormitory. i deleted his number, messages and photos ; threw away his gifts which he gave me before. that day i waited him to call me or text me but he didnt. he didnt call or text for a week. and that week a new song came out from seksendört. the song suited my situation :) it's name is ' ölürüm hasretinle ' . yes that song fuck my heart over and over for months.

let's turn his calling. he said he was very sorry, it was only for fun ( o my god really? for fun? who said a person ' aşkım, tatlım etc. ' for fun? ), he loved me very much etc. but it was not enough for me and i said i didnt love him anymore ( haha i was deeply love him while i was saying that) and i wanted to focus on my university life.' sorry and dont call me anymore' was my last words.
after hang up the phone, i began to cry again cause i was in love with him. in the meantime i thought to begin knitting the scarf for valentines day gift. why? cause i was such a stupid who thought knitting scarf for a guy who cheat on her.

as the days passed my exams began and i started to study for my exams and began to make friends at my dormitory. but it was so hard if each of you were totally incompatible. not problem for me, i had already a full schedule and it was ramadan days.
what a borring day for me or should i say my every day is borring nowadays.
wake up, eat breakfast, smoke cigarette, wash dishes, take shower, clean house, cook sth whatever u want, check ösym and memurlar.net.ilan, talk your mother, watch a movie etc. but my days with father were worse than now. ( thank god for my current days )

anyway i began to go university at 2005. my first day was not bad. we didnt learn sth but met eachother. all my classmates are only 50 person and they were from different cities. our teacher asked each of us what's our name, age, from which high school we graduated , from which city we came to istanbul etc.

after that i came to my dormitory. the dormitory has a lot of rules and bans. for example i couldnt stay outside after 17.00, couldnt smoke cigarette or couldnt stay at a friend's home.. yes it was very hard for me cause i didn't want to live a dormitory like that but it was my family's request. the most important thing they banned was ' you can not date a boy if u dont want to marry him' . and i have got a boyfriend as you know even if he didnt call me and cheated me at those days :))

meanwhile he had 2 girlfriends including me. of course i didnt know it at that time. hmm at that time i wanted to knit a scarf for him for valentines day. what a bad idea girl dont knit please dont..

yes he didnt call me or text me still. i called him cause i wondered if he was good or not. he was upset while we were talking, cause his big brother wanted to cooperate his cafe together. it meant big brother want to be his boss and my bf bought that cafe by all his money. but for their tradition it isnt problem for family actually it was the right thing if 2 brothers were away from family. we talked about daily stuff and we arranged the meeting day.

after hung up the phone, my roommates asked with whom i was talking. my god they were little ugly spies.( i didnt know that they were spies those days. i learned it after a year )
and i ate dinner alone in refectory then began to read a book which has no means but love.

now thinking of that, it was very clear that i wasnt belog there. i even couldnt smoke at my room or at dormitory so i had to wait going to university for smoking. for a while i did like that. didnt smoke at dormitory and smoked at university. it was very childish thing but necessary to adapt.

meantime today my neighbour's cat got lost. the day began weird for me and them. fortunately someone found pussy cat and brought it to me. cause neighbour wasnt at his home.
cat's name is misket, he is very little , his fur is all white and very sweet. our cats hissed to him anytime they saw misket. at night they came and took their cat.
ı would like to inform you that this is not only a diary, this is also a real love story and i am a woman who lives in a muslim country. so i cant write every details of it sorry for that :) please guess the unwritten things.

nowadays i am very busy oh my lord i am so sleepy like i am a walking sleep( evet yürüyen uyku gibiyim) .
nowadays i began pilates cause my waist is so weak according to other person's waists. but after started doing pilates i realize that i need it not just for my healt but also for my soul. now i feel so good during my dailylife. for example before pilates i went bed at early times after work,but now even if i am tired i can do anything i want and 6 hours sleep is enough for me, i can do my daily personel care like face mask, hair mask, etc. but still my days are so full and it is tiring despite pilates.

so see u soon diary kisses
günlük tutan insanlara hep imrenmişimdir ama bu başka bir boyut sen günlük tutan insanların en güzeli sen aydınlatırsın geceyi '*') ama yaz yani okuması keyif veriyor takibe aldım bugün saat 17.00 gibi bekliyorum yeni gününü.
İngilizcesi kıt biri olarak bekliyorum.
sn. vegan martı'ya yanıt :

kural 7'yi bırakın hiç bir kuralı okumadım. sonuçta burası blogsözlük ve herkes blog yazıp burdan duyuruyor bloglarında yayınladıkları yeni yazılarını. ben bir blog açmadım ve bu başlığı kendi blogum olarak kullanıyorum. eğer bir sıkıntı olursa da yapacağım bir şey yok ama ingilizcemi geliştirmek için yaptığım bir şey ve beni eğlendiriyor. bana henüz bu konuyla ilgili moderatörlerden bir uyarı gelmedi. sonuçta kimseye hakaret etmiyorum, siyasete girişmiyorum sadece yaşadığım zorlu bir dönemimi anlatıyorum. ve sizi rahatsız eden bir durum mu var merak ettim açıkçası.

sn. haplo means alone'a yanıt :
teşekkür ederim ancak her zaman müsait olamıyorum burda günlük yazmak için :)

sn. halaybaşı ruşen'e yanıt :
beni destekledin mi köstekledin mi anlamadım açıklarsan sevinirim :)
hi me real me. we don' talk very much i know. actually when did we talk together ı don't remember. so let's talk it.

do u remember the last hapiness you felt before the ten years of unemployment? it was long time ago but i miss that feeling. yes your last hapiness is being loved by your lover.he loved you so much, remember? you loved him very much too. then you left him cause of his jealousy. why he jealous of you... cause of your beauty? bullshit!!
cause of your attractiveness ? bullshit. think about that.

he and i met at 2004. after he went to military for being temporary soldier, i passed the university exam then i was accepted by ist. university.he came to istanbul after me and bought a cafe for working.yes every good things and bad things lived at that little cafe.

let's go to the first day of being at istanbul.
my family wanted me to live at a dormitory.so we looked for a good girl dormitory.after we found a good one, father left me there and went izmir.

i have 5 roommates which i dont remember even their names or faces. wait a minute yes one of them is yasemin haha :)) it was the first time i was going to live alone ( aalllll aloneee ) my god yes i feel the freedom even now. being free is the most gorgeous thing in the world. i could do anything i want, i could go anywhere i want, i could buy anything i want .. and i fall in love with istanbul for being free at it, i guess.

anyway my bed was in front of the room's door and my closet was not very big but enough for me. i placed my clothes in the closet and took a shower ( the dormitory has 6 bath. for each floor 2 bath it has ) and ate dinner then went my room again.i was very tired and after that day my lessons would begin. so i went to my bed for sleep, looked my phone but he didnt call me or text message if i came istanbul or not. that was horrible thing for a lover but i was so asleep..
sadece ingilizcemi geliştirmek için buraya günlük yazacağım. yazmazsanız mutlu olurum. kendi kendime bir alandır bu başlık. yorumunuz olursa mesaj atabilirsiniz.
my sister married a month ago so i had to move my family's house. it was a very tiring time for me. we bought every little thing which a new house need and i was at outside almost every hour of those days. at last it is over thanks god.

now it is a new house with new habits for me. actually i like my new room, yes it is small for me but good and cute :) ( i said small cause i have a lot of belongings)

let's come to new habits :
-for a long time i was alone at home from morning till night.. now? i cannot be alone even 1 hour for a day.
- for a long time i did housework by myself.. now? with my mother. this is a plus of my new home :)
-for a long time we did not receive guests.. now? we have guests once a week . this is not a plus ( i dont like guests )
- for a long time i had a good movie mate.. now? my family watch very different things :S
-for a long time i was the big one at the house.. now? i am the youngest one.( yes this a plus cause i 'm learning being the youngest one in a house.. i have to admit this a very new thing for me)
and i miss my cute cat ' galotti' ( he isn't with me)
(back to my past)
searching an apartman was a problem at the beginning but the real problem was how do we live in it? we were not married, we weren't engaged, i was only a university student, how would our neighbours behave against us? and should we buy second-hand home stuff or new?(
cause if you are thinking of marrying someone you have to buy new home stuff thus after you two married, you don't have to buy home stuff again. but we didnt talk about marriage at those days.

anyway he found a little apartman with two rooms,a little kitchen with no windows,a bathroom with no windows. initially it was a too dark house for us but after searching an apartman for so long we accepted this basement-ish house.

it was time to getting home items and even if we don't talk of marriage that was the time of thinking about it for both of us. (new home stuff or second-hand home stuff) and it was the time if i would continue my revenge plan or would i listen my feelings? which was the right decision for me? i fell in love with him soooooo deply but he wasnt with me when they kicked me out of the house. actually he messed with me when i told him that they went to izmir to tell my family it.
i was so indesicive.. love was on one side and leaving me alone with that bad (sad) situation on the otherhand. it was a hard and sharp decision, i couldnt turn my back on myself for a guy who left me alone in that bad situation. what was the right way for both me and my heart?

while thinking all that thoughts, i was going to my dormitory.
hi guys i am listening - urge overkill-girl,you'll be a woman soon- while writing here. in sight i have no problem yes i am sitting in my bed and studying an exam which i am going to take 2 months later.

wait a minute..my days goes too fast nowadays. haha i have to remember which event is first or which one is second etc. i even can't remember the sequence of the events. but why my friends? of course it is because of my inner world. it changed a lot. for instance 2 months ago, i was thinking my mother loves me. guess what? she didn't love me from the beginning. besides she is the reason why my father and my sister don't love me, don't listen my words or or don't take me seriously. yes, think a while about this awkward situation.i thought she is the most compassionate one to me for a long time, i trusted her every minute of my life, didn't want to accept her faults to others,i said all my secrets to her , i asked her help for any reason of family.but she? she was and is trying to keep using my father and my sister to control me. i want to say her in face ' hey dillhole, what's up? you can't control me anymore, does it hurt you? i don't call you like in the former times, are you sad? i don't listen and resent you while you are talking behind your husband's back, how are you mom? ohh sorry you haven't got anybody for talking behind your husband.. and you don't have anybody to ask how you should behave the one's who hurt you. in fact you deserved all the bad behaviours and i got they were right to treat you like that.

anyway i forgot which event is first, which is second etc. because of this awareness.

7 entry daha

diary of ahde vefa