diary of ahde vefa

  • i am drinking tea while listening radio and watching ''zuhal topal'la sofrada'' now.. ( yes i am confused )
    i wonder where the life goes to? the corona virus(covid-19) took lots of thing from human being.but we ( i mean only people) did so many bad things to our world and nature.it means we took lots of thing from nature and our world before it began to take something from us. i think  it feeds us back .

    our ancestors killed animals ( some hunters keep doing it), cut trees, made place dirty  wherever they found. my friends, honestly i can't understand why someone kill an animal for only ownself pleasure( not for eat, not for fear it is just for fun), cut a tree or make dirty wherever they go..let's think about that. 

    as quickly as we must make our world heal cause if we don't do this, our future will be worse than our presents. 
    come on this is full closing process..let's guess some events during this time :)
    i think many couple will divorce even married couples and lovers, some people commit suicide and some of us realise who we really love or not. this is the most important one i mean realising who we really love or not. yes this long quarantine days in turkey will teach us it. one more thing.. these days will teach us who we really are..
    do we really know our homemates? :) help us lord. ( actually i don't want to know and don't interesting in knowing anyone else but me) 

    17 days..seventeen days..

    heyyy i discovered a dirty song named ' jvla- such a whore (stellular remix)' .. i  like this version of the song. i fell in love with this version of it because of the  clip from the beastar animation. legoshi and hal's love makes me believe in possibilities.

    did you watch 'beastar' anime? guys if you like animations you must watch it. if you watched it already and waiting it's new episodes like me  please tell me so i can tell you when i see it's new episodes.
  • hi me..
    let me turn my past..
    yes he began to like me it was good but i began to like him much more than i liked him before.that was an unexpected situation and it made my plans complicated to do. i couldn't act the way i want, i missed him, i wanted to see him and talked with him on phone everytime. so i pushed myself to follow my plan. by the way the day passed without any problems in my daily life. i was going to my faculty, sometimes meeting my close friends, studying my lessons. i had an accommodation, noone pushed me for praying in the early mornings or i could go to my dorm anytime i want..( wait for it my little free rabbit :)

    we saw eachother three times a week and i planned each meeting for my side. for example my clothes, my acts, my words even my failing or winning at the games we played together.. all of them were planned by me :) at the end of the meeting days he liked me more than he did before.

    he was my first man who kissed me. we were going to holidays together and began to stay together at nights. those days were so georgeus.i was loved by the man i loved. being loved by the man/woman you loved is a magic i think. it was such a magic that we want each other every moment. he was looking to me like i was the most charming girl in the world and he couldn't take his eyes on me...

    guys.. i admit i was deeply in love with him.i felt like a woman for the first time.

    by the way his elder brother continuosly urged him for money and he was staying with his brother and his brother's wife. after a while they began to argue about the money and my lover wanted to rent a house for staying with me. he left his brother's house and began to stay at his cafe's little room until he found a place to stay. however any homeowners didn't rent their apartments to a single man. maybe they were right at their sights i don' t know. the other problem was his being kurdish in the house searching process.

    while he was searching an apartment and staying at his cafe's room,his clothes were getting dirty and i washed his clothes in my hands. why did i wash them in my hands'? guys, i could find only congregation houses which washed clothes cheaply and you know they shouldn't see a man's clothes in a girl's hands. washing a man's clothes was a problem even in a usual dorm. it was not really nice for me..

    come on guys, his t-shirts, his jeans', his underwears..etc. all of them were dirty and smelled bad. after all i had began to love him for not a long time. washing shirts, socks and underwears were the easy part of my laundry adventure. the jeans.. my god until that time i didn't know how difficult it was to wash jeans by hand.( this is an advise : don't do that girl :))) )
    the best thing about this bad experience was it tied us closer, made him a good man for marriage.
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