diary of ahde vefa

  • hi me..
    let me turn my past..
    yes he began to like me it was good but i began to like him much more than i liked him before.that was an unexpected situation and it made my plans complicated to do. i couldn't act the way i want, i missed him, i wanted to see him and talked with him on phone everytime. so i pushed myself to follow my plan. by the way the day passed without any problems in my daily life. i was going to my faculty, sometimes meeting my close friends, studying my lessons. i had an accommodation, noone pushed me for praying in the early mornings or i could go to my dorm anytime i want..( wait for it my little free rabbit :)

    we saw eachother three times a week and i planned each meeting for my side. for example my clothes, my acts, my words even my failing or winning at the games we played together.. all of them were planned by me :) at the end of the meeting days he liked me more than he did before.

    he was my first man who kissed me. we were going to holidays together and began to stay together at nights. those days were so georgeus.i was loved by the man i loved. being loved by the man/woman you loved is a magic i think. it was such a magic that we want each other every moment. he was looking to me like i was the most charming girl in the world and he couldn't take his eyes on me...

    guys.. i admit i was deeply in love with him.i felt like a woman for the first time.

    by the way his elder brother continuosly urged him for money and he was staying with his brother and his brother's wife. after a while they began to argue about the money and my lover wanted to rent a house for staying with me. he left his brother's house and began to stay at his cafe's little room until he found a place to stay. however any homeowners didn't rent their apartments to a single man. maybe they were right at their sights i don' t know. the other problem was his being kurdish in the house searching process.

    while he was searching an apartment and staying at his cafe's room,his clothes were getting dirty and i washed his clothes in my hands. why did i wash them in my hands'? guys, i could find only congregation houses which washed clothes cheaply and you know they shouldn't see a man's clothes in a girl's hands. washing a man's clothes was a problem even in a usual dorm. it was not really nice for me..

    come on guys, his t-shirts, his jeans', his underwears..etc. all of them were dirty and smelled bad. after all i had began to love him for not a long time. washing shirts, socks and underwears were the easy part of my laundry adventure. the jeans.. my god until that time i didn't know how difficult it was to wash jeans by hand.( this is an advise : don't do that girl :))) )
    the best thing about this bad experience was it tied us closer, made him a good man for marriage.
  • my sister married a month ago so i had to move my family's house. it was a very tiring time for me. we bought every little thing which a new house need and i was at outside almost every hour of those days. at last it is over thanks god.

    now it is a new house with new habits for me. actually i like my new room, yes it is small for me but good and cute :) ( i said small cause i have a lot of belongings)

    let's come to new habits :
    -for a long time i was alone at home from morning till night.. now? i cannot be alone even 1 hour for a day.
    - for a long time i did housework by myself.. now? with my mother. this is a plus of my new home :)
    -for a long time we did not receive guests.. now? we have guests once a week . this is not a plus ( i dont like guests )
    - for a long time i had a good movie mate.. now? my family watch very different things :S
    -for a long time i was the big one at the house.. now? i am the youngest one.( yes this a plus cause i 'm learning being the youngest one in a house.. i have to admit this a very new thing for me)
    and i miss my cute cat ' galotti' ( he isn't with me)

  • (back to my past)
    searching an apartman was a problem at the beginning but the real problem was how do we live in it? we were not married, we weren't engaged, i was only a university student, how would our neighbours behave against us? and should we buy second-hand home stuff or new?(
    cause if you are thinking of marrying someone you have to buy new home stuff thus after you two married, you don't have to buy home stuff again. but we didnt talk about marriage at those days.

    anyway he found a little apartman with two rooms,a little kitchen with no windows,a bathroom with no windows. initially it was a too dark house for us but after searching an apartman for so long we accepted this basement-ish house.

    it was time to getting home items and even if we don't talk of marriage that was the time of thinking about it for both of us. (new home stuff or second-hand home stuff) and it was the time if i would continue my revenge plan or would i listen my feelings? which was the right decision for me? i fell in love with him soooooo deply but he wasnt with me when they kicked me out of the house. actually he messed with me when i told him that they went to izmir to tell my family it.
    i was so indesicive.. love was on one side and leaving me alone with that bad (sad) situation on the otherhand. it was a hard and sharp decision, i couldnt turn my back on myself for a guy who left me alone in that bad situation. what was the right way for both me and my heart?

    while thinking all that thoughts, i was going to my dormitory.

  • Çeviri yaptığımda o kadar düzgün çevriliyor ki Türkçe'ye, mutlaka bir yerlerde bir hata vardır diye düşündürüyor. normalde abuk subuk çevirmesi gerekmiyor mu?
    Olsun, diğer entrylere kıyasla okuması zevkli. (sataşma)
  • inan bilmiyorum hayatım.hiç denemedim çeviri programlarından biriyle yazdıklarımı türkçeye çevirmeyi :)
    böyle sataşmaya can kurban tatlış :)
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